The Best Gift to Yourself…Time

This post is dedicated to all of the hardworking women out there who don’t think they deserve to give themselves the best gift of all…TIME. May this post give you the perspective and permission you need to love yourself enough to take a “break” from your norm and discover you.❤️

As women we are natural nurturers. We love to give to others, but rarely give to ourselves. Why is that? It would seem to me that the best investment we could make is the investment of time into the discovery of ourselves–a hobby we enjoy whether it be working out, reading, cooking, scrapbooking, etc. One of the things I believe that caused me the most dissonance during the height of my anxiety and depression was that I lost myself. I lost myself in my role as wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend.

We are all born with and in our own God-given identities. Once we are born into our families and grow within that family we fall into roles. For me, I was the eldest, responsible, and only daughter. The “perfect” one and “chosen” vessel which didn’t give me much room for exploration of who I was, what I enjoyed, and who I enjoyed to do it with. All of those decisions were pre-made for me, mostly due to my religious denominational affiliation, parents who were heavy in ministry, opinions of others, and cultural influences. So as per usual, I fell right in line and did what was laid out for me. At the time, that’s what I thought was easiest–or was it?

We were all born with what I call “bents” or things that we are drawn towards. That is a fact, because we were all uniquely made. True we may have commonalities with others, but there is no one else exactly like us. Finding out what those bents are takes some time of exploration and we will never fully know ourselves if we don’t give ourselves that time. Though I thought falling into my family role was easiest, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. It actually caused me more stress and frustration. For years I neglected myself, the desires of my heart, and the “big”, “childlike” dreams I had. For a season they seemed to have disappeared. I consider myself a free-spirit and a creative type. For years I lived as a carnival pony, when in my heart I was meant to run. Can you relate?

So I leave you with these questions to ponder: “Who do you think you are?” and “Who are you really?” Is there any difference between the two answers to those questions? If there is, I think it’s time for a change. Give yourself time and permission to discover YOU unapologetically. Make a date with yourself. You’ll make yourself a better person. People will want to be with you more because you like to be with you.

My family and I travel quite a bit and every time we travel the flight attendant gives the same instructions: if cabin pressure should change, please secure your oxygen mask before assisting anyone else. Of course, we want to help others, but we must first take the time to secure our oxygen or in this case time to discover, before helping others discover. I implore you…please take the time to discover and breathe.

Do what’s in your heart regardless of what others may say. So what if you are 45 and you’ve always liked to paint. GO PAINT! You have nothing to prove and nothing to lose. Take a risk and don’t be afraid to fail. The fear of failure robs you of self-discovery. God’s got you and if you are in Him, you’ve got this one in the bag. 💕

Achea Redd

Achea Redd

about the author

Achea Redd is a mental health advocate, author of “Be Free Be You” and founder of Real Girls F.A.R.T. — a space to empower and equip women with the necessary tools to use their voices and become their best, most authentic selves.


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