“Everyone refers to you as a mama’s boy, as if it’s somehow a negative thing. They laugh and joke, and make comments here and there about how soft I am making you. They place a negative connotation on the thought of a male outwardly expressing his feelings. But now and forever, I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with that.” – Jade North, from To my son: It’s OK to be a Mama’s boy
I recently read this article from TODAY Parenting Team and related to some of her points. As many of you know, I have a son of my own. I wonder, is he considered a “mama’s boy”?
We tell little boys to be strong, tough, grow some balls. By doing this, we are consciously, or subconsciously, telling them they can’t cry or act “soft”.
What the heck is “soft,” anyway?
True, I understand these sentiments. No matter the gender of your child, they should, to a limited degree, learn to pick themselves up and push forward. No arguments here! But when your boy grows up, he’s going be someone’s father and husband one day. I think his future wife would enjoy a man with a little sensitivity.
Think: lyrics to Ralph Tresvant’s “Sensitivity”
When we use messages such as “act tough” or “grow some balls,” we can’t help but wonder why he grows up and is completely clueless as to what a woman needs in the emotional department. If we, as women, are expecting our husbands to become more in tune with our emotions—and their own for that matter—why aren’t we raising our sons to do the same?
I believe we have infiltrated him with our own fears of him becoming “too soft.”
It’s all situational and I think there is more gray than black and white in this area. What do you think? Leave a comment below!