Light Sabers and Flower Crowns

If you have kids or want them in the future keep reading…if you know someone else who could benefit from this post by all means pay it forward.

This post is dedicated to my sweet, independent, fiery, and incredibly creative 6-year-old baby girl. I always thought, contrary to what others would say, that I would be a better “boy” mom. That I wasn’t cut out to have a daughter, but I realize now that was a lie  I told myself.  For years I told myself that I wasn’t a “girl” person and that guys were just easier to connect with, never realizing that the lie I was telling myself was a direct attack on my very purpose and destiny.
I can remember back to the day that my husband and I agreed to start trying to get pregnant with our second child, only to have two miscarriages back to back. The whole time I kept telling myself, “I hope I’m having a boy.” I was devastated after each loss, finding myself angry with God. Even though I knew He didn’t cause the miscarriages, I was still confused and frustrated, asking Him “why? I’m a good mom. I love my son, I take care of him. But after each miscarriage, the will of God was more and more apparent. He allowed me to go through that time, turning a very unfortunate situation into experience that I’d learn from.

You see, God wasn’t concerned with the laundry list of things I did or how much I loved my son. He was concerned with my attitude towards motherhood. I loved my child, but I didn’t love being a mom. I didn’t embrace the season of the motherhood. I wasn’t ready to be pregnant again, because I wanted it my way. He had to position me to be ready for my baby girl. Fast-forward forty weeks and little Ardyn Grace was born. One of the greatest days of my life. I was filled with so much wonder, hope, and fear. I instantly turned into a “girl” person.

Raising her has had its challenges, but more joy than anything. She has taught me more about myself than I ever realized she would. She has awakened the little girl in me. She’s taught me to run wild and free, that unicorns really exist 😉, to dream big even if it’s crazy, to mix pink with camouflage and leopard, and that it’s ok to wear a flower crown, and carry a light saber.

Each of us have that little girl inside that thinks anything is possible and loves freely without reservation. For so long we have been told that everything has to match and that its ok to be a princess, but a warrior not so much. Unless, of course, we are in front of other people, then we are told we have to be brave and strong. We are taught that vulnerability equals weakness. But that’s a lie–flat-out. We as women have this uncanny ability to be able be the best of both worlds. That’s what makes us beautifully intriguing and why men can’t get enough of us. There is beauty in our softness, but there’s also beauty in our grit.

So here’s to you ladies…embrace your beauty, boldness, tenderness, toughness, grit, and grace. Be the girl with the sword who slays the dragon and looks good while doing it! And even better, teach your daughters to do the same thing. Before you know it, we will have a new generation of good and Godly women who are just as fierce as they are beautiful. Hope every mom who reads this had a wonderful Mother’s Day.😘

Achea Redd

Achea Redd

about the author

Achea Redd is a mental health advocate, author of “Be Free Be You” and founder of Real Girls F.A.R.T. — a space to empower and equip women with the necessary tools to use their voices and become their best, most authentic selves.


  1. AvatarKristel Sargent says

    Well, you have me crying at work! This is such a true and powerful post. Being an aunt of 7 nephews and a mommy to one boy, I thought it wasn’t meant for me either and I was afraid that I couldn’t give a little girl what she needed. You have so eloquently described how I think most mother’s feel that struggle in their beliefs of self at times. My Bella B is the best thing ever and I love love love being a mommy to a precious princess. Having a girl has unleashed another level of parenting that was already inside me ready to soar. Thank you for this post. The title is amazing as well.

  2. AvatarAndria says

    This post is just amazing Achea. I love how God is unfolding all the pieces to his wonderful puzzle that seemed so confusing. Praise God for loving life and letting it love you back.

  3. AvatarTequila Warren says

    So, proud of you continue to live on purpose, so delighted to reconnect. By the way this post touched home in many areas. Thanks, for your testimony

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