Let Freedom Ring: A Message to Our Daughters

This post is dedicated to all of my little princesses out there who’ve ever felt left out, rejected, lonely, unaccepted, and unloved. My message is simple today: YOU ARE ENOUGH and YOU ARE LOVED!

As a mom of a 7-year old African American, kinky curly-haired princess, I’ve had my fair share of conversations where I have had to hold my composure when my daughter has come home and told me that she was being picked on at school or that she didn’t want to wear her hair curly because she felt it was too fuzzy and big. That she wished that she was another race so her hair would be straighter and longer.

I’m sure many of you can relate and you’ve either had this conversation with your daughter or with yourself. I know have on several occasions. I’ve found myself completely picking myself apart because of the way my hair looked after a long hot day outside or coming out of the pool. I’ve even gone as far as to critique how I looked in a bathing suit or how my skin looked after being in the sun.

That was way back when, and I didn’t have the pressures that social media puts on our daughters these days. These are days when size 0 is the new size 2. God forbid anyone be any size over 4. You might as well be plus sized. On the flip side, you’ve got stick thin girls who now are getting surgeries to enlarge their butts, and hips to appear more curvaceous to look like celebrities. Is it any wonder why there is such a dissatisfaction for what we look like, what we have, and who we are?


I was what they called a late bloomer, completely flat chested until 13 or 14, absolutely no bootie. In fact it was so flat they called me pancake booty. I’m part Dutch, Irish, Native American, and Black so I didn’t have full lips, they were thinner than the typical black girl’s especially my upper lip so I was teased for that. I was also made fun of for how widely shaped my face was so they called me pie face. Pretty much I was made fun of for every part of my body that was visible. It was very damaging to my self-esteem. It was rough to be me in middle and high school. Once I started to grow into myself and graduate from the awkwardness of teenage hood, things started to get better externally, but the damage was already done to my psyche because of the comments that my peers made about me.


People are gonna make comments about whatever mostly because they are unhappy with themselves. You can’t change that ever, but what you can change is how you respond and the way it affects you. I went through an ugly duckling phase much like everyone else does, but I grew into a beautiful butterfly. The awkwardness or cocoon phase is not fun, but it’s necessary to get to the beauty. I’m not talking just external beauty, but also internally. Your change will come. Your time of metamorphosis will come. Enjoy the journey to get there. Your hair may not be what you want it to be. You may think “if I only were skinnier or if only I were thicker”. “If only my hair was straighter, curlier, or longer then I’d be happy”. That may not be true. There’s a sense of joy and rest in knowing that you are who God made you to be. He makes no mistakes including YOU! Take heart beautiful little butterflies in the making. You are enough and you are loved.

Achea Redd

Achea Redd

about the author

Achea Redd is a mental health advocate, author of “Be Free Be You” and founder of Real Girls F.A.R.T. — a space to empower and equip women with the necessary tools to use their voices and become their best, most authentic selves.

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