Imagine you’re out with your friends for dinner and drinks. In the midst of your second or third cocktail, your BFF mentions how she just started a new, trendy therapy treatment. On the outside, you’re probably congratulating her, wishing her all the best. But on the inside, you might be thinking “Oh, I’d never do that.”
How many of you have found yourself using the phrase “I’d never do that”? Maybe you’ve said it to a friend. Maybe you’ve kept it to yourself. But let’s be honest, we’ve all been there.
Well, guess what? “Never” was a word I used to use in my vocabulary quite often. Now, I steer clear. So, let’s talk about it…
When we tell ourselves and others that we’d never do something, what emotion does that make your feel? Get curious! What’s the experience you feel in your mind, your body, and your heart when you utter these words?
I’ll go first.
I feel powerful. I feel like I’ve taken a stand. I feel as though I’m a goddess with unmatched willpower. In short (excuse my French), I feel that I have my sh*t together. Saying “never” gives me a false sense of “I’m better than that.” Are there exceptions? You bet (and only you know what those are). But mostly, saying never creates toxicity in your relationships—whether brought on by you or your partner, friend, family member, etc.
Saying never closes off your heart to new experiences, relationships, and life as a whole. When we say never, we’re assuming we learned nothing from other unpleasant experiences, and therefore, anything similar will have the previous outcome as before. When we say never, we’re allowing resistance to take space in our hearts instead of openness. We’re essentially closing the door to the unknown—and that’s never good.
“Never” is being closed off, dogmatic, judgmental, and limiting to our thinking. Come to the table open, ready to receive what is prepared for you and only you. Don’t set self-imposed limits on your new experiences because of something you had no control over in the past. Stay open to experiences, love, and opportunity. 💜