Good Girls Gone Bad (Pt.1)

Dedicated to all of the “good guys” out there who feel like they just aren’t getting a fair shot at true love and a meaningful relationship with “the one” woman of their dreams.

So I have to admit that this topic didn’t just come from the top of my head. I was encouraged by a gentleman who follows Real Girls F.A.R.T on Facebook to write about this particular subject. I’ve been a happily married woman to “the one” man of my dreams for nearly 11 years, so I’ve been out of the “game for a while. But apparently, dating isn’t like it used to be. It definitely was challenging before my hubby and I married, but I’ve been told numerous times it’s a thousand times worse today. That’s a little hard to believe, in fact, staggering. However, all things being considered, i.e. social media, it makes sense. The standards, expectations, what’s reality, and what’s a facade have shifted a great deal.

This is probably one of the most layered subjects Ive addressed thus far, however these are simply a few of my opinions on the matter. I could literally spend 4-5 weeks writing about this, but hopefully I’ve helped to scratch the surface of a topic that will lead to further discussion.

This young man believes that a lot of the “good women” out there go for the “bad guys”. This apparently is something that he feels is a problem and needs to change or at the very least an explanation. So as I pondered this suggestion made with great concern, I asked myself are these so called “good girls” really “good girls”? But in order to accurately answer this question we must first define “good girl”. I’m of the mindset that this is purely subjective, but for the sake of this post let’s attempt to define the term objectively. We could say a “good girl” is classy, polite, feminine, yet strong, intelligent, compassionate, and so on. So what on earth would a girl like this want with a guy that’s the opposite of these things?

There are a number of reasons that we could speculate, but it really starts with the young woman’s foundation of how she perceives men; her first interaction with a man and the first man in her life–DADDY!  We’ve heard it time and time again, Dads play a huge role in their daughter’s development and it can make or break a young woman. Is the damage permanent? More often than not, yes. But only because the young woman may not know what she doesn’t know. If this behavior of picking certain types of guys has been her pattern and she doesn’t know any different, the pattern often gets repeated rather than disrupted.

I’m by no means a man, but I do think that men should not internalize this behavior as being a fault of their own, they in turn, must be familiar and try to understand the behavior at it’s root, not the fruit.


Achea Redd

Achea Redd

about the author

Achea Redd is a mental health advocate, author of “Be Free Be You” and founder of Real Girls F.A.R.T. — a space to empower and equip women with the necessary tools to use their voices and become their best, most authentic selves.

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