Good Girls Gone Bad (Pt. 2)

We left off last week discussing the importance of men familiarizing themselves with the root of a young woman’s choices as opposed to the fruit or choice itself. It’s very difficult to do different if you don’t know you should and unfortunately, many of us, male and female go through life repeating patterns and passing them off to future generations. Lifelong patterns are hard to break even when you come into awareness that change needs to happen. Why? Because it takes hard work. It takes consistently undoing what you’ve known. It takes repetition even if you don’t see immediate results.

Part of undoing what you’ve known, is letting go of the fantasy of what you’ve always wanted and accepting what is. I bring this point up because it’s extremely important for this topic. Many young women simply hold on to a fantasy of wanting to be daddy’s little girl, because they never were. So if being daddy’s little girl means getting controlled, pushed around, yelled at, or called names so be it. Why? Because negative attention is better than no attention at all.

Another perspective to consider is that from the beginning it has been human nature to want what is forbidden. From Adam and Eve, to a toddler touching a hot stove, and so on. There doesn’t even have to be any dysfunction in early childhood for that to occur. It’s just human. Many women want what’s forbidden and unacceptable just to see what it’s like.

Shifting gears a bit, potentially these so called “good girls” aren’t so good at all. Externally they may look right and on paper seem to meet the criteria, but on the inside is drama and a desire for something that is in that “bad guy”. And in that case, the “good guys” should be so lucky they dodged a bullet.

So you see, no true “good girl” wants a “bad guy”. There’s always something living beneath the surface; something deeper. We have to be discerning enough to ask the right questions that lead to the “more” of what’s really going on. Nothing is ever as it seems and every situation is different.

Achea Redd

Achea Redd

about the author

Achea Redd is a mental health advocate, author of “Be Free Be You” and founder of Real Girls F.A.R.T. — a space to empower and equip women with the necessary tools to use their voices and become their best, most authentic selves.

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