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A Moment of Reflection

Over the last few months, so much has happened in my life that I absolutely never imagined would be possible…EVER. It led me down a path of reflection and gratitude. I mean, let’s be honest: how often do we actually reflect back on our lives and all of its goodness? One main reason is time. Life happens so fast and we’re just too busy living it. So, as you read this, I want to challenge you to dig deep to a place of reflection over the last six months. The caveat, however, is that I only want you to reflect on the goodness. If you stumble upon something negative, don’t ignore it. Instead, I want you to lean into it and reflect on what you’ve learned from it—or what could’ve happened that was much worse, but didn’t.

For this blog, I want to focus on relationship changes in my life that I made on purpose (meaning, I chose to do something different).

Over the last four years, there have been both exits and entrances into my life. I tend to emphasize the exits and lament over the people that haven’t supported me or haven’t been the perfect picture of kindness. Moment of transparency: I overdo it most of the time. It’s okay to be sad about relationships that end. It’s okay when someone you love disappoints you continuously and you have to give yourself some space from that situation. Those decisions are hard and they hurt. However, the more we focus on the negative, the more we rob ourselves of joy and gratitude. This negativity has the tendency to change the overall energy you project and receive back into your life.

There were times I would constantly be angry at the people who didn’t show up for me—not because they continued to do it, but because when I decided to create distance, aka boundaries, I didn’t let it go. Instead, I continued to talk about it to anyone who would hear me. Each time, it never failed: I would go from being okay and then I would all of a sudden interrupt my healing by reopening the wound. How many of us do that? At that point, we are only hurting ourselves.

But guess what? When we overly focus on what and who we don’t have, we also hurt the people that love and support us—the ones who are already here, loving us unconditionally. Not only have I done this to others, but people have also done this to me. And it doesn’t feel good to be in a relationship with someone who is constantly lamenting over what they don’t get from someone else, when you are giving them everything they need and have been asking for.

Let’s remember to reflect and be grateful for the goodness that comes from life and the people we are all so blessed to have. Need a place to reflect? Leave a comment below!

Achea Redd

Achea Redd

about the author

Achea Redd is a mental health advocate, author of “Be Free Be You” and founder of Real Girls F.A.R.T. — a space to empower and equip women with the necessary tools to use their voices and become their best, most authentic selves.

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